Halloween, Parental Alienaton and Trick or Treating

Halloween is just another seasonal celebration missed by those of us that are alienated from our children.

For those readers unfamiliar with the term parental alienation please see here.

I vividly remember helping my children each year carve out the Halloween pumpkins to be placed outside the house. I also remember every evening after nightfall being reminded by my kids to light the candles in the pumpkins. As if it was only yesterday I remember my little G saying to me one year “daddy, we need to light the pumpkins, can I help you light them today because it’s my turn tonight, remember?”

“Parental alienation, by its very nature is all about tricks and treats too.”

I remember my kids and I getting dressed up in our Halloween costumes each year to go ‘trick or treating’ round the neighbourhood. On returning home, the children’s faces full of joy as they emptied their Halloween bags onto the floor. All of them excited beyond words from the sheer amount of sweets they had each managed to acquire.


However it is not just Halloween that involves trick or treating. Parental alienation, by its very nature is all about tricks and treats too. Allow me to explain.

I now haven’t seen my three beautiful children for almost fifteen months. Their mother has tricked them into believing I no longer love them following our separation. Their mother has ultimately tricked them into believing they are better off without me.

In addition to this their mother has tricked them into being scared of me. She uses such abhorrent tactics as tricking them into believing I prowl around the house at night. Which of course isn’t true.

Their mother has also tricked them in the past into worrying about the idea of them possibly having to move house and schools because “daddy isn’t paying for the house anymore” which of course isn’t true.

As if all the above wasn’t bad enough, their mother has also tricked all our previously mutual friends into believing I used to abuse my children. Suffice to say their mother has ensured that all these ex-mutual friends have rejected me on this false information. They clearly weren’t real friends if that is their reaction without checking my side of the story first. These ex-mutual friends have now become what are known as enablers of parental alienation. Enablers are individuals that an alienating parent tricks into providing support for them. The alienating parent will also in many cases trick the enablers to turn against the targeted parent.

For a more detailed insight into enablers of parental alienation please see my article An Open Letter to Enablers of Parental Alienation.

My children’s mother also tricked one of the children’s schools into believing that my whereabouts were not known and that I had stolen money from them and therefore left them destitute.

“Having the financial resources to spend in excess of £10,000 in legal fees over the last fourteen months to continue to prevent me from having any contact with any of my children.”

Furthermore their mother also tricked the local authorities into giving her food vouchers due to her false claims of being left penniless and destitute following our separation. This is despite their mother somehow having the financial resources to spend in excess of £10,000 in legal fees over the last fourteen months to continue to prevent me from having any contact with any of my children.

At each court appearance, of which there have been many their mother regularly tricks the judge. She assures the judge she will engage in the next intervention aimed at encouraging contact between the children and I. This is despite their mother not engaging in any previous interventions at all.

So there you have it. These are the ‘tricks of the trade’ used by an alienating parent. There are many many more tricks, but I’m sure you get the idea.

But what about the treats? Once again, please allow me to explain.

The children get treated by way of numerous rewards for siding with their mother. They get treated with praise for helping her through the pain and hurt of separation. Clearly this is emotional transference from a parent to a child and completely inappropriate and unhealthy.

And then there is the previously mentioned mutual friends that have sided with the childrens mother. They are treated with validation and praise for helping who they believe to be someone who is penniless and destitute. Little do they know this mother is emotionally abusing her very own children and continuing to deny them contact with their father.

“Tragically the children have absolutely no idea that they are being constantly tricked and treated into rejecting and hating their very own father.”

So this year their mother will probably carve out the pumpkins with the children. And she will most probably take them trick or treating.

However, rather tragically the children have absolutely no idea that they are being constantly tricked and treated into rejecting and hating their very own father.

On a similarly tragic note these enablers are also clueless to the fact that they are being tricked and treated into supporting a mother who is emotionally abusing her very own children.

“The only thing more frustrating than slanderers is those foolish enough to listen to them,” writes Criss Jami in his 2015 book, Killosophy.

btg dad

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The Peace Not Pas Team

14 thoughts on “Halloween, Parental Alienaton and Trick or Treating

  1. Sadly, this is a brilliant article. Halloween, as with all special dates, is just another event lost. But keep going & I truly hope it’s the last one you’ll miss with them

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Unfortunately we are now entering the hardest time of the year for alienated parents; halloween is just the start. Holidays ram home that alienated patents are not included. Also seeing all other families just feels like rubbing salt in the wound. I feel your pain and completely empathize with you. Keep strong . Together we can change this in time.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. One day the truth will come out and she will have to answer many questions.
    Stay strong…as I say to my son every day…do not let this vile woman destroy the rest of your life.
    Are these women cloned I have to ask myself as there seems to be so many of them.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. From trauma and sadness we discover/rediscover compassion, love, trust and integrity. Thank you for your show of support.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. An excellent piece made all the more powerful because it is from the heart, authentic, sincere. And because of that it highlights the immorality, filthy spite and abusive cruelty that a single individual can bring to bear, ruining your lives and those of the children for now and years to come.
    Sadly, for many of us, the party season is an ordeal because it reminds us of the precious moments we used to live for. Now, without the support of our legal system, MPs or other establishment mechanisms, we have little choice but to roll up our sleeves, straighten our backs and prepare to give the abusers the fight they’re spoiling for, if not for our own happiness but to prevent the real Halloween monsters ruining our children’s children’s lives as well which, if left unchecked, they will!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. My point exactly. We are supposed to live in a socialist peer supported society. What the fudge has happened to us that we do not care enough for each other. The people in power that make these decisions! wtf! rant over! sorry!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. This is an excellent article indeed, and so much more than just a “play on words.”

    I wish I had something more constructive to say, but in reality, I just hope your ex slips up with that pumpkin carving and cuts a major artery. Gruesome…I know…but on this one day of all in the calendar, I think I can be afforded as much.

    Evil should only ever beget evil, and the innocent should be set free from whatever form of prison that entraps them.

    My thoughts are with you on yet another evening that pings an extra, cruel poignancy.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Well ….this has marked a new seasonal low…first Halloween without so much as a conversation with the children, not even a call. How much they enjoyed trick or treating yet last year she put them under so much pressure they were so very uncomfortable with us even dropping them off at their party. And tonight’s fireworks will bring back many memories of bonfires past….then grit the teeth for the countdown to Christmas and the hope that……As alienated parents we really need to get stuck into sorting this nonsense out legally and develop better coping mechanisms as this “trickery” leads to abject torture, as you say !

    Liked by 1 person

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