I Hate Everything About You

Some say I got a bad attitude, but that don’t change the way I feel about you

Who’s ever been in a relationship they can’t get out of? We’ve all been there, the kind of relationship that causes you a constant bloody headache, a shit-load of hassle, and basically turns your world upside down.

This was the state of my relationship with the year that everyone loves to hate, that’s right, the one, the only, 2020.

2020 and I had our whole future laid out in front of us. Don’t believe me? Here’s what we had planned:

Our Old To-Do List:

  • Go on holiday to New York, sorry, vacation. By the way, an American friend of mine tells me that there is so much to do in the Big Apple that you need to get up at the crack of dawn, he says cover myself in Mazola before going to bed, that way I’ll wake up oily.
  • Stop drinking so much wine.
  • See my kids after 4 long years pursuing a relationship through the majorly fucked up family justice system.
  • Challenge the politically driven, false narrative that cruelly claims domestic abuse is a gendered crime.
  • Become a nurse therapist, so I can finally cope with listening to other people’s problems.
  • Stop smoking weed.
  • Go see Pearl Jam again, for the fifth time.

Now, I absolutely love a challenge, but Jeez 2020, what the fuck was up with you?

Now, if nothing else, I’ve long accepted the need for me to compromise. Don’t believe me? Check out my subsequently updated to-do list:

Our New To-Do List:

  • Apologise for listening to other people’s shit without being a trained therapist.
  • Drink more wine.
  • Apologise to Ev Williams for regularly mentioning him unnecessarily in my Medium stories.
  • Smoke more weed.
  • Apologise for not apologising enough.

“Some say I got a bad attitude,
But that don’t change the way I feel about you,
If you think all this might be bringing me down,
look again cause I ain’t wearin’ no frown.”

Ugly Kid Joe

Originally published in Medium publication The Swipe, 17th June 2020.

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